The shit. Dumb.

Watches & Accessories

Five product types, each with a smart one to avoid and the dumb ones to buy instead.

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1
Product type Every thing rated by how few ways it can fail.
B · Hall of smart-shameHall of smart-shame Oh no, you didn’t? Smart, connected and under attack.
C · Level 0Level 0 · No electricity Dumb as a rock No plug, no password, no problem.
D · Level 1Level 1 · Electric, no logic An electric rock Needs power, nothing more.
E · Level 2Level 2 · A quiet chip Dependable doofus Fine with a microchip, as long as it keeps its mouth shut.
2
Lead type

Wristwatch

3

Pen

#N/A

We looked. Sorry.

An electric pen is a tattoo machine. Not our department.

#N/A

Still nothing.

The Pelikan is two cells to the left.

4

Key finder

#N/A

We looked. Sorry.

Electricity has never helped anyone find their keys.

5

Wallet

#N/A

We looked. Sorry.

A wallet that needs a plug is a wallet with problems.

#N/A

Still nothing.

The leather one is two cells to the left.

6

Luggage

#N/A

We looked. Sorry.

A suitcase with a battery is a suitcase at airport security.

#N/A

Still nothing.

Pack light, carry the Filson.

Back to EssentialsAll 5 types shown