Too dumb to fail.

Back to the sheet Watches & Accessories Wallet · B5
Ekster Parliament with Tracker Card
B5 · Hall of smart-shame Oh no, you didn’t?

Ekster Parliament with Tracker Card

By Ekster.

$138
Amazon US, October 2026. Prices change.

A pop-up card wallet with a rechargeable Bluetooth tracker card that reports to a phone network. Your wallet now needs charging.

Local
Bluetooth, RF or NFC. An attacker has to be nearby.
Cloud-dependent
Needs the maker's servers or app to work, so the maker can switch it off.

Buy the dumb one instead

We do not link to the smart one. You can find it.

Survival checklist

What it survives, next to the dumb one.
1
=SURVIVES(threat)Survives…
ThisEkster Parliament with Tracker Card
The dumb oneDumb oneBellroy Hide & Seek
2
Power cut
FALSE
TRUE
3
Wi-Fi goes down
FALSE
TRUE
4
The company switches off its servers
FALSE
TRUE
5
Someone tries to hack it
FALSE
TRUE
6
A firmware update goes wrong
FALSE
TRUE
7
Twenty years from now
FALSE
TRUE
8
=COUNTIF(TRUE)Total
0 of 60/6
6 of 66/6

The dumb one is the Bellroy Hide & Seek.

Row 5

See it in the sheetIn the sheet
You are here

Never lose it. Never be alone with it either.

Ekster Parliament with Tracker Card

$138
Local · Cloud-dependent A wallet you can track. Anyone?
#N/A

We looked. Sorry.

A wallet that needs a plug is a wallet with problems.

#N/A

Still nothing.

The leather one is two cells to the left.