Every level adds one new way to fail.
Each level up adds exactly one new way to fail. Read across a row: a hand-wound watch can only wear out, while a smart kettle can also lose power, fail electronically or be hacked.
The four columns
Read left to right: the hall of smart-shame first, then dumbest to least dumb.| Column | Level | Name | Who it is for |
|---|---|---|---|
| B | Hall of smart-shame | Oh no, you didn’t? | Smart, connected and under attack. |
| C | Level 0 · No electricity | Dumb as a rock | No plug, no password, no problem. |
| D | Level 1 · Electric, no logic | An electric rock | Needs power, nothing more. |
| E | Level 2 · A quiet chip | Dependable doofus | Fine with a microchip, as long as it keeps its mouth shut. |
Rating rules
- Rate capability, not usage. A dishwasher with Wi-Fi you never set up is still on a leash.
- Any logic chip means level 2 or higher. Simple power parts, such as dimmer circuits, stay at level 1.
- IR remotes stay at level 2 with the IR badge: one-way, line of sight, and limited to the device’s own buttons.
- Local radio counts as connected. Bluetooth and RF are level 3; badges show how far away an attacker can be.
Badges
The detail the four levels leave out.- Repairable
- Opens with common tools, spare parts are available, and replacement parts work without the maker unlocking them. Any level.
- Calm
- Does not compete for your attention: no notifications, feeds or endless content. Does its job and gets out of the way. Any level.
- Off-grid
- Runs on battery, crank or solar, so it survives a power cut. Levels 1–2.
- Updatable
- Firmware can be changed offline (USB or SD card), so it is exposed to bad or tampered updates. Level 2.
- IR
- Has an infrared remote. Someone in line of sight can press its buttons, nothing more. Level 2.
- Local
- Bluetooth, RF or NFC. An attacker has to be nearby. Level 3.
- Online
- Wi-Fi, Ethernet or cellular. An attacker can be anywhere, and it can collect data. Level 3.
- Cloud-dependent
- Needs the maker's servers or app to work, so the maker can switch it off. Level 3.
The taste filter
Every pick at levels 0–2 passes all three.- Better at the job, not just simpler.
- A classic or design reference in its category.
- Built to last, ideally repairable.