B4 · Hall of smart-shame Oh no, you didn’t?

Apple AirTag

By Apple.

Amazon US, October 2026. Prices change.

A Bluetooth tracker that borrows every iPhone nearby to report where it is. Very good at finding keys. Also good at finding people who did not ask to be found.

Local

Bluetooth, RF or NFC. An attacker has to be nearby.

Cloud-dependent

Needs the maker's servers or app to work, so the maker can switch it off.

Buy the dumb one instead

• Brass goose wall hookLevel 0 · No electricity · Dumb as a rock $18View
• Suck UK whistle key finderLevel 2 · A quiet chip · Dependable doofus $8View

We do not link to the smart one. You can find it.