The shit. Dumb.

Garden & Tools

Five product types, each with a smart one to avoid and the dumb ones to buy instead.

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1
Product type Every thing rated by how few ways it can fail.
B · Hall of smart-shameHall of smart-shame Oh no, you didn’t? Smart, connected and under attack.
C · Level 0Level 0 · No electricity Dumb as a rock No plug, no password, no problem.
D · Level 1Level 1 · Electric, no logic An electric rock Needs power, nothing more.
E · Level 2Level 2 · A quiet chip Dependable doofus Fine with a microchip, as long as it keeps its mouth shut.
2
Lead type

Lawn mower

3

Watering

#N/A

We looked. Sorry.

Rain also works. Try your local cloud.

4

Drill

5

Pruning shears

#N/A

We looked. Sorry.

Electric shears without a brain would be a hedge trimmer.

6

Tape measure

#N/A

We looked. Sorry.

An electric tape measure is a laser measure, and those have chips.

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