The shit. Dumb.

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D · Level 1 · Electric, no logic An electric rock

IBM Selectric typewriter

$150–400Buy on eBay
Estimate. Prices change.

An electric motor, a spinning type ball and not one line of logic. Every page is rendered on the server, which is you, and cached in a ring binder. IBM stopped making them decades ago and typewriter shops still service them, which is more than PHP 5.4 can say.

Repairable
Opens with common tools, spare parts are available, and replacement parts work without the maker unlocking them.

Where to buy

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Survival checklist

What it survives, next to the smart one it replaces.
1
=SURVIVES(threat)Survives…
ThisIBM Selectric typewriter
What it replacesSmart onePHP, any version since 5.4
2
Power cut
FALSE
FALSE
3
Wi-Fi goes down
TRUE
#DEPENDS
4
The company switches off its servers
TRUE
#DEPENDS
5
Someone tries to hack it
TRUE
FALSE
6
A firmware update goes wrong
TRUE
FALSE
7
Twenty years from now
TRUE
#DEPENDS
8
=COUNTIF(TRUE)Total
5 of 65/6
0 of 60/6and three maybes

The smart one is the PHP, any version since 5.4.

Its row

See it in the sheetIn the sheet
Photo You are here

Server-side rendering at 15 characters a second. The only injection is correction fluid.

IBM Selectric typewriter

$150–400
Repairable
IBM Selectric typewriter$150–400
Buy on eBay