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B2 · Hall of smart-shame Oh no, you didn’t?

Google Maps on a phone

By Google.

Free
Estimate. Prices change.

Turn-by-turn directions, a blue dot and a battery that drops one per cent per hill. Excellent until it is not, which is usually halfway up a mountain.

Online
Wi-Fi, Ethernet or cellular. An attacker can be anywhere, and it can collect data.
Cloud-dependent
Needs the maker's servers or app to work, so the maker can switch it off.

Buy the dumb one instead

We do not link to the smart one. You can find it.

Survival checklist

What it survives, next to the dumb one.
1
=SURVIVES(threat)Survives…
ThisGoogle Maps on a phone
The dumb oneDumb oneMap and compass
2
Power cut
FALSE
TRUE
3
Wi-Fi goes down
FALSE
TRUE
4
The company switches off its servers
FALSE
TRUE
5
Someone tries to hack it
FALSE
TRUE
6
A firmware update goes wrong
FALSE
TRUE
7
Twenty years from now
FALSE
TRUE
8
=COUNTIF(TRUE)Total
0 of 60/6
6 of 66/6

The dumb one is the Map and compass.

Photo You are here

Leads the way until four per cent.

Google Maps on a phone

Free
Online · Cloud-dependent Lost at four per cent.
#N/A

We looked. Sorry.

An electric compass is just a compass with anxiety.