Too dumb to fail.

Back to the sheet Household Iron · B6
LG Styler steam closet
B6 · Hall of smart-shame Oh no, you didn’t?

LG Styler steam closet

By LG.

$1,995
Amazon US, October 2026. Prices change.

A fridge-sized cabinet that steams and shakes your clothes and reports back to the ThinQ app. It replaces an iron and a hanger, and adds a router.

Online
Wi-Fi, Ethernet or cellular. An attacker can be anywhere, and it can collect data.

Buy the dumb one instead

We do not link to the smart one. You can find it.

Survival checklist

What it survives, next to the dumb one.
1
=SURVIVES(threat)Survives…
ThisLG Styler steam closet
The dumb oneDumb oneCast-iron sad iron
2
Power cut
FALSE
TRUE
3
Wi-Fi goes down
#DEPENDS
TRUE
4
The company switches off its servers
#DEPENDS
TRUE
5
Someone tries to hack it
FALSE
TRUE
6
A firmware update goes wrong
FALSE
TRUE
7
Twenty years from now
#DEPENDS
TRUE
8
=COUNTIF(TRUE)Total
0 of 60/6and three maybes
6 of 66/6

The dumb one is the Cast-iron sad iron.

Row 6

See it in the sheetIn the sheet
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A wardrobe with Wi-Fi that steams your shirts.

LG Styler steam closet

$1,995
Online A wardrobe on the Wi-Fi. Why?