The shit. Dumb.

Back to the sheet Kitchen Kettle · B4
Govee Smart Electric Kettle
B4 · Hall of smart-shame Oh no, you didn’t?

Govee Smart Electric Kettle

By Govee.

$72
Amazon US, October 2026. Prices change.

A gooseneck kettle with Wi-Fi, an app and voice-assistant support, so you can boil water from the sofa and then walk to the kitchen anyway.

Online
Wi-Fi, Ethernet or cellular. An attacker can be anywhere, and it can collect data.

Buy the dumb one instead

We do not link to the smart one. You can find it.

Survival checklist

What it survives, next to the dumb one.
1
=SURVIVES(threat)Survives…
ThisGovee Smart Electric Kettle
The dumb oneDumb oneHario V60 Buono kettle
2
Power cut
FALSE
TRUE
3
Wi-Fi goes down
#DEPENDS
TRUE
4
The company switches off its servers
#DEPENDS
TRUE
5
Someone tries to hack it
FALSE
TRUE
6
A firmware update goes wrong
FALSE
TRUE
7
Twenty years from now
#DEPENDS
TRUE
8
=COUNTIF(TRUE)Total
0 of 60/6and three maybes
6 of 66/6

The dumb one is the Hario V60 Buono kettle.

Row 4

See it in the sheetIn the sheet
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Boils water from your desk at work. You are still at work.

Govee Smart Electric Kettle

$72
Online An app to boil water. Really?