Too dumb to fail.

Back to the sheet Kitchen Toaster · B6
Breville Joule Oven Air Fryer Pro
B6 · Hall of smart-shame Oh no, you didn’t?

Breville Joule Oven Air Fryer Pro

By Breville.

$500
Amazon US, October 2026. Prices change.

A countertop oven that connects to an app with guided recipes and push notifications. It makes very good toast, which it could also do in 1990.

Online
Wi-Fi, Ethernet or cellular. An attacker can be anywhere, and it can collect data.

Buy the dumb one instead

We do not link to the smart one. You can find it.

Survival checklist

What it survives, next to the dumb one.
1
=SURVIVES(threat)Survives…
ThisBreville Joule Oven Air Fryer Pro
The dumb oneDumb oneCoghlan's camp stove toaster
2
Power cut
FALSE
TRUE
3
Wi-Fi goes down
#DEPENDS
TRUE
4
The company switches off its servers
#DEPENDS
TRUE
5
Someone tries to hack it
FALSE
TRUE
6
A firmware update goes wrong
FALSE
TRUE
7
Twenty years from now
#DEPENDS
TRUE
8
=COUNTIF(TRUE)Total
0 of 60/6and three maybes
6 of 66/6

The dumb one is the Coghlan's camp stove toaster.

Row 6

See it in the sheetIn the sheet
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An oven with Wi-Fi, so your toast can get firmware.

Breville Joule Oven Air Fryer Pro

$500
Online Toast that needs updates.