The shit. Dumb.

Back to the sheet Electronics Headphones · B8
Apple AirPods Pro 3
B8 · Hall of smart-shame Oh no, you didn’t?

Apple AirPods Pro 3

By Apple.

$199
Amazon US, October 2026. Prices change.

Excellent earbuds with a microphone, a voice assistant and a battery that sets their lifespan at a few years. When the battery goes, so do they.

Local
Bluetooth, RF or NFC. An attacker has to be nearby.

Buy the dumb one instead

We do not link to the smart one. You can find it.

Survival checklist

What it survives, next to the dumb one.
1
=SURVIVES(threat)Survives…
ThisApple AirPods Pro 3
The dumb oneDumb oneA concert ticket
2
Power cut
FALSE
TRUE
3
Wi-Fi goes down
TRUE
TRUE
4
The company switches off its servers
#DEPENDS
TRUE
5
Someone tries to hack it
#DEPENDS
TRUE
6
A firmware update goes wrong
FALSE
TRUE
7
Twenty years from now
#DEPENDS
TRUE
8
=COUNTIF(TRUE)Total
1 of 61/6and three maybes
6 of 66/6

The dumb one is the A concert ticket.

Row 8

See it in the sheetIn the sheet
You are here

Cancel the noise, keep the microphone.

Apple AirPods Pro 3

$199
Local Earbuds with a cloud account.
#N/A

We looked. Sorry.

Wired is already as clever as headphones need to be.